Jan 29, 1929 Henry and Marie Dittmer had their fourth child born to them. He is Raymond.
As usual whenever there is a new birth the excitement is overwhelming. The house was filled with singing and laughter. About six months later, Marie began to notice that Ray wasn’t as alert or learning as quickly as the other children when they were that age. He seemed slow but it didn’t seem very important.
Ray started first grade at Saint Pascal’s grammar school. In those days most children didn’t attend kindergarten unless they were from a wealthy family. Ray failed to graduate to second grade so he repeated first grade. When this school year ended Ray failed first grade a second time. The teacher explained to Marie and Hank that Ray would never be able to graduate first grade, and if they allowed him to skip to second grade he would never be able to pass the second grade. They thought it would be wise to have Ray stay home and not be schooled because his learning seemed hopeless.
Hank and Marie found a school for retarded children. It was not very far from our house. Ray was enrolled there and there was hope that Ray would learn to read and write. He went to school for three or four months and Marie began to notice his temperament began to change. He began to argue with Mom often. He began to cuss and swear whenever he would argue with other family members. Marie and Hank discussed their dilemma with the church pastor and the principal of the school he was attending. After much discussion, they all decided it would be better for Ray to have no school, rather than learn many bad habits and bad ideas from the other classmates at this school. So, Marie and Hank removed Ray from the school.
As the years passed slowly, Marie and Hank had five more children. Now there were four girls and five boys. When Ray was about fourteen years old his two younger sisters, Regina and Theresa, decided to teach Ray how to read and write. Each day they would teach without much success. After a few years Ray could count, slightly. He finally could read a few sentences, however whatever he read usually became totally confused. He only read a few words that were written and he finally leaned to sign his name. Yet, the girls must be commended for teaching him anything. At least now, he could look at a newspaper and read and possibly understand a few sentences.
During these years when he was at the age of seven to fifteen, he was very uncoordinated. He would fall if he ran, tripping over his own feet. Most people could not understand what he was talking about. He usually talked very fast and made very little sense. He was very respectful of people. He never argued with anyone except his brothers and sisters, which was understandable.
The police liked him because he never caused any problems in the neighborhood. They would stop for coffee at the corner drug store, and put Ray in the front seat of the police car. They would tell him, “Ray if you hear this name on the radio , come into the store and tell us.” He was real proud of this and felt real important. He would tell everyone, “I am a policeman guarding the radio.” Everyone in the neighborhood knew Ray and almost everyone treated him with respect.
At the age of sixteen, Marie was trying desperately to find Ray some type of employment. It should be understood that most people in the forties and fifties were not very understanding of retarded people. They didn’t have the patience to try to understand what they were saying or how they were acting. This made the idea of finding a job almost impossible for Ray. Marie talked with a person who was in charge of workers at Saint Joseph Cemetery. He noticed there was a job for a maintenance worker and they usually hired a high school student. It involved cutting the grass, cleaning the streets, raking leaves, sweeping and other minor activities. Marie applied to the president of the organization, a person named Mr. Mann. Mr. Mann hired Ray. He explained that his sister was retarded the same as Ray, and he would give Ray the opportunity to learn the minor chores around the cemetery. He said, “I will give Ray a job and we will try to help him keep this job. I cannot guarantee that we will be able to keep him, but we will try.” This great person, who understood and had the patience to allow Ray to make mistakes and sometimes do ridiculous things, allowed Ray to feel needed and gave him and interest in life. Ray worked here for fifty years, until he was sixty-five years old and retired. At one time he took a train from Libertyville to Belmont Ave. and then transferred to a bus that took him to the cemetery.
His father, Hank, died July 3, 1951 and his mother, Marie, died in her sleep Jan. 2, 1961. Ray moved into his brother Richard’s house and lived there for two years. Then Richard moved to Texas. Finally, He lived six months at Hanks and six months at Ralph’s’. For twenty-eight years he lived at both homes and was part of each family.
Ray became very awkward and sickly when he was seventy years old. Rosemary and Ralph decided to keep him for a while until he became totally incapacitated. By the age of seventy-two he had diabetes, perkiness, and high blood pressure. He couldn't walk and needed a wheel chair. He was losing weight and was getting very weak. Rosemary was Raymond's nurse until The doctor prescribed home care, which included a nurse who would visit him twice a week. The nurse was Tanya. Finally Ray couldn't get out of bed and we put him in a nursing home. About four months later Ray died peacefully in bed.
